It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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