1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
