My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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