It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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