you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
