Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
