You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
She's like a pop up book from hell.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
