I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
