All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So vagazzling was a success
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
