I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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