I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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