and you said cock pushups were impossible
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
