just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
