It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
