Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i already hear my dad disowning me
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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