Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
