i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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