I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
