So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
