Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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