dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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