I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
