A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
