Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
