capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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