found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
