Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
