If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
