And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
