gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
