I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
