well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
