He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize