just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize