Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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