im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
