One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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