Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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