Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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