This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
