it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
