I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
