What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
