No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
