Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
