i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you traded sex for a burrito?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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