capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
