Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize