it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
