I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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