he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Congratulations! We have a period
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