hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
