he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
