you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
do herpes really smell.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It was a blind-side dick pic.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
