just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize