i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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