i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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