i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
