he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
