You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
