where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
