so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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