Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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