Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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