Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
