Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
