i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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