My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
