summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i barfeds in our rink
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
