They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
