physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize