the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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