Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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