I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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